The Three Little Pigs
by RealCoral
Summary: this isn't really in the cartoons section. Its a rewriting of the three little pigs. The wolf is the one telling the story. It was my homework by the way.


**Author's Notes: This is my homework. We were supposed to write a classic story except on told by the poin of view of a different characyer. when you see a number like this: (1) then that means to scroll down and search for what it says. I know it kind of stinks but at least its kind of funny. **

Hello, my name is Fang, one of the most famous wolves in the world. Of course I wasn't very famous back then. You know, maybe it's time I tell someone how I became Fang the Famous Wolf.

This started when I walking through the forest like any other day. Then I had only a small problem. I was supposed to hunt down three different animals for my clan.(1) You'd think it was easy for a wolf, right? Well, not completely.

You see, every year my clan had this ceremony. The "just entered adulthood" wolves were sent out on a hunt so the Elders(2) could judge on whether or not they deserved to be on the clan. No adult could help us in any way other than just give us advice though. However, the ten or so other "just entered adulthood" wolves can help.

Anyway, as I was pacing, the sound of music and the smell of food reached me. That meant something was nearby. It also meant that, unless it was a bear, a wolf or Bigfoot, I had the opportunity to try and hunt an animal that, according to the intensity of the smell, was probably just slightly smaller than a wolf.

As quietly as I could, I crept closer to the smells and sounds. Pushing away a couple of pesky bushes to see better, I spotted a pig. He was dancing around a pot of soup while playing a lyre.(3)

It surprised me then how something so chubby and round could move so swiftly. Maybe that was why I had never tried pig meat before, because the "I'm out of shape disguise" was just a trick to fool predators like me.

Out of habit, I looked around. The pig's house was made of straw(4) and stood near a little path. Down the path was a little house made of wood, even farther down the path was another house made of something red.

I stood up (I was kind of sitting) and with an almost sweet voice for a hungry meat eating animal, said 'Hello!'

Not surprisingly, the pig squealed, like, well, a pig, and ran back to his house, leaving the lyre thing and the pot of food outside.

"Little Pig, little pig, let me come in," I said in a kind of rhyming, friendly way. (Cool, huh?)

"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin," he said. It bothered me that he was able to rhyme something when an eighty pound wolf was standing right outside his little house, which, as I'm pretty sure I've mentioned, was made of _straw_. It was probably not the best thing, but the patience I had for this pig evaporated. Maybe it was the fact that he rhymed his sentences or the fact that he showed this much defiance in front of a wolf, what annoyed me, anyway, I have forgotten.

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!" I said. Of course, even though the house was made of straw, I stopped for a moment to see if there was anything to blow the house in. After a quick look around, I found a giant electric fan and turned it on to maximum speed, pointing towards the little straw hut.

Some animals are so ignorant, that if they had been inside, they would have probably thought that I had _actually_ blown the house in using only my breath.(5) After waiting about 30 seconds, the little straw house fell. I then checked around for the pig

He was nowhere to be seen, after I checked my surroundings, he was halfway through the path towards the house made of wood. Man, was he fast.

Losing my temper right then and there was not cool. I just wished there was no one nearby to watch me curse and stomp around like a spoiled puppy. After finally recovering from my…mishap, I ventured towards the house made of wood.

When I finally got there, having taken my "borrowed" giant fan with me, I reached he house. The little home was actually another lame excuse of architecture. I had thought the house was made of wood from afar, a fair building material, but it turned out to be twigs(6). I looked through the window.

To my surprise, two almost identical pigs were sitting in a little couch(7)talking to each other, one of them with tears down his cheeks. After this display, I departed myself from the window and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" asked a trembling voice. At this I was dumbfounded. Mum had always told me to think before acting but, like most things parents tell you, only half of the information reaches your brain.

"Um…I'm your…um…friend," I said lamely, "Please let me in"

"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin," one of the pigs said. I gritted my teeth at quite possibly the most annoying rhyming thing in the world.

"Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in," I said.

Once again, I turned on the giant fan I had stolen from the pig, including another one I had found lying around outside the second pig's house.

After briefly looking over the twig ruins, I concluded that the pigs had run away. This time I truly lost my cool. I uttered at the top of my lungs every swear word ever invented at the top of my lungs and stomped around like a toddler in a temper tantrum.

"You're acting just like a kid," said a familiar voice behind me.

"Oh, it's you," I said nervously. The sight of lean, muscular Max was one to make anyone nervous. She was one of the most beautiful female wolves in my clan, with her glossy fur. Not only that, but she was the daughter of the current alpha male and female and a really good hunter. Almost every young male wolf had a crush on her. In fact, if I wasn't covered in fur, she might have seen me blushing.

"Hello," she said, "You're in my clan, aren't you?"

"Um…yes," I said, feeling lame, "I've seen you; you're really good at hunting." Okay, I admit it was kind of lame.

"Apparently you're not, not really anyway," she said, "How many times have you been in a hunt?"

"Only once," I said, "and pigs are pretty hard to catch."

"I'll help you," she said. This took me by surprise, why would she want to help? "Let's just follow the pigs. I have a plan."

We had reached the house by then. Max had told me her plan to hunt down the pigs. I had to admit that the plan was so simple it almost made me want to giggle.

Anyway, the house was made of brick(8) with some really nice curtains hanging by the windows.

Like I had done with the other pig, I knocked on the door.

"Are you the wolf?" asked a female voice.

"Yes," I admitted. There was no point, according to our plan; I had to admit of being a wolf.

Then, our plan came into action. Max "stabbed" me on the back causing me to yell a fake cry of pain. We faked for a few seconds a fight. At the end, I yelped a last cry of pain and sadness and "died." I admit, this was so fun, I feared I would collapse in giggles at any time

"Please open up little pigs," said Max with a voice that seemed so harmless, you might have even jumped off a cliff for it. I could tell she had a smile on her face.

"Not by the hair in my chinny chin chin," said the pigs together.

Disbelieving, I jumped up angrily, once again yelling every swear word known to man. Max was fuming quietly to herself to my side.

It was then that I noticed the chimney for the first time. As nimbly as a cat(9)I got up to the roof. After nearly falling twice, I stumbled my way towards the chimney.(10)

Without thinking, I jumped down the chimney. Unfortunately for me, I had forgotten that there could be anything down there waiting for me at the bottom. When I landed, I was soaked with boiling water.

I yelled in pain and spilled myself onto the pig's floor. Later, I fainted.

* * *

I woke up to the smell of medicine. Pain immediately flooded in.

"Good morning," said Max's familiar voice.

I only could manage to grunt.

"Fortunately for you, you can sue the pigs for deliberately dropping you in a bowl of nearly-boiling water."

"Oh, that's good, right?" I asked groggily.

"Well, not completely, you see, they might sue you for breaking and entering, the destruction of property and trying to eat them, among other things," she said, "Do you want me to go on?"

"No, thanks," I muttered.

"We might end up in jail, you know," I knew she was worried, even though she hid it behind a mask of calmness.

I sighed. Why were wolves always seen as the bad guys?

After some days at the hospital, Max and I were kicked into jail. Max was said to be the accomplice and me the mastermind.(11)

We never did sue the pigs, and they never sued us. I guess that after having the wolf that wanted to hunt you down put in jail, you feel satisfied enough.

So we spend three years rotting in jail (technically twenty-one in wolf years). Max and I continued with our lives. Max became the alpha female, and, guess what? I became the alpha male. Well, everyone has happy moments in life.

* * *

1 Compared to popular belief, wolves live in clans, or groups, not by themselves. We hunt, eat and sleep together.

2 The Elders were a group of wolves who had once had a high rank within the clan. They were respected and considered wise (and old). This group is ruled by the current alpha male and female.

3 I think it was a lyre at least. Wolves are usually reserved from both animals and humans most of the time. Not only do we prefer living in the forest with all the trees and little animals to hunt, but if we _were_ to go out into a town or city, everyone would probably just turn around and leave screaming "WOLF!!" This makes it hard for us to make non-wolf friends.

4 Straw! I swear it was straw! Nobody makes a house out of only straw. Lacking of other supplies, wolves make their homes out of rocks. The only time we use straw is for the bedding in our dens. After all, it can be kind of hard to sleep on the bare ground, especially if you are a newborn pup.

5 This would be, obviously, quite silly.

6 TWIGS!! I swear it was made of twigs!! I ask you, why doesn't anyone build their home out of rock and stone anymore?

7 Where'd they get the furniture I wonder? Back at our den, it was considered luxury to have more than five pounds of hay and straw within a burrow. I also wonder where they go the giant fan from.

8 Finally! Something good to build with! I was becoming accustomed to seeing pigs with impractical minds.

9 Well, not really. My first attempts were really clumsy; after all, I kept falling off the roof.

10 This reminded me of some guy humans believed brought those presents every Christmas night. Santa something was his name, I think.

11 This was kind of strange, since it had been Max who came up with the idea.


End file.
